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Protest works. Don’t give up.

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Protest works. Don’t give up.

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calebegg
716 days ago
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NY
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fxer
718 days ago
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Why the stolen artwork from Adventure Time?
Bend, Oregon
calebegg
716 days ago
It's not adventure time. It's KC Green: http://gunshowcomic.com/648
fxer
716 days ago
Ah I was referring to the animation based on Green's comics, but it was just for Adult Swim not specifically adventure time I guess https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oBx7Jg4m-o

Are You Normcore or My Dad? by Carrie Seim

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Where did you get those plain white sneakers?
1. J.Crew’s New Balance collection
2. WalMart
3. “The WalMart”

What are you driving?
1. Honda Civic
2. Citi Bike
3. Log splitter I soldered myself

What’s your favorite Saturday brunch spot?
1. The IHOP in Bushwick
2. Neighborhood diner
3. Brunch? Grab a Hot Pocket and start raking.

What’s your go-to accessory?
1. Velcro wallet
2. Generic baseball cap
3. Gold chain with anchor charm, purchased at Tommy Bahama outlet

How are you styling your hair?
1. Classic crew
2. High and tight
3. Still growing out that man-perm your mom gave me

Where do you work?
1. Tech entrepreneur
2. Brand consultant
3. Retired (but not tired!) middle school science teacher/student council faculty rep

How long have you been rocking those dad jeans?
1. All year
2. Since 2012
3. Pants are really your mom’s department

Where did you find your glasses?
1. Warby Parker
2. Goodwill
3. LensCrafters (Transitions Lenses section)

Favorite curse?
1. Damn it
2. Darn it
3. Lord love a duck!

What’s on your mind?
1. The big game
2. Recycling
3. How could they kill that guy on The Good Wife? Your mom’s still upset about it—Are you just gonna stand here and ask questions while the lawn goes to pot? This is exactly what we get for paying your health insurance.

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calebegg
1727 days ago
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Monologue: I Should Get the First Lifeboat Because I Am In Advertising by Brian Cullen

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Look, I know we’re all used to the “women and children” trope, but come on. It’s 2014! You can’t honestly believe that I’m undeserving of the first lifeboat, right?

Listen, let me educate you people. Any of you assholes ever heard of the “KIA Soul”? Dancing hamsters ring a bell? I brought the funky fresh flavors of hip hop together with the magic of CGI hamsters. And what did you get in return? Oh, I don’t know. A commercial that lives in your hearts and minds forever, free of charge. That’s the kind of genius you’re trying to throw away right here.

You’re welcome, by the way. I know at least a few of you shared that on Facebook. I know it’s true. I’ve seen the metrics.

Meanwhile, what have all you done? You, Doctor Fucknuts, what’s your story? Lead heart surgeon at St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital? Boo fucking hoo. What’s your Klout score? Don’t bother answering that. I’m a 67. That’s in the top 5% of all users. That alone should buy me a seat on the lifeboat. I’d be surprised if you broke a 2. I don’t even want to know if a score that low is possible.

I’m a Clio award nominee, goddammit!

Has anyone here ever heard of the Chevy Verde? Of course you haven’t. We aren’t releasing the ads until Q3. You wanna know what you’ll be missing out on? Breakdancing babies. You like that? Yeah? How about this—we’re getting Ice-T and Tone Loc to voice them. We even have a cat as the DJ. You leave me here to sink and that’s an ad you’ll never see. Is that a world you want to live in? Is it??

I have fist-bumped Cuba Gooding Jr. It was my idea for the Golden Retriever from the Arby’s ad to say “Whatchu talkin’ bout Willis?” I’m responsible for getting the Beatles to allow “Blackbird” to be used in a commercial for Raisin Bran Crunch. Laura Bush told Katie Couric that the Kyocera commercial where Eugene Levy raps with LL Cool J was her favorite commercial of Super Bowl XLII. That was my idea. Mine! You think Eugene Levy comes cheap? No! He works for me! ME!

I live, breathe, and eat synergy! I am synergy!

Let’s be honest—whoever gets off this boat is going to be a media darling for the next four to six weeks. We’re talking interviews with the New York Times, Anderson Cooper, and even the big poppa himself, Piers-fucking-Morgan. Quick show of hands—any of you media trained? No? Didn’t think so.

I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but think of it this way—the survivor of this boat gets to control the conversation about what happened. We send little Johnny over here and we get a few quick cutesy clips and boom, this is nothing but fodder for that douche Matt Lauer and all the other morning show idiots. I’m thinking prime time, baby. 8 to 10 PM, Monday through Thursday, Male demo 18-35. Caucasian. The sweet spot. And you know what? I test very well with that group. I am that group. All you have to do is trade your life for mine, and I’ll guarantee you journalistic immortality. Wikipedia pages, musical tributes at awards shows, a tearful Michelle Obama promising boat hull reform—the works. All because of you. How do you like that ROI?

Ask yourself—why do you think you’re here in the first place? I know you all saw the commercial for this cruise line where Jason Alexander steps out of a hot tub, looks at the camera, and says, “No shrinkage, guaranteed” with a wink. Guys, I wrote that. I know how to make people say “yes.” It’s what I do. Now, let me go. Let me make you immortal!

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calebegg
1772 days ago
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List: Standard Household Measures by John Sherman

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A heap of cake

A stack of brownies

A brick of ramen

A spoon of peanut butter

A mug of wine

A sleeve of cookies

A fist of jellybeans

A shirt-bowl of popcorn

A whole thing of ice cream

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calebegg
1796 days ago
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September 10, 1983 — see The Complete Peanuts 1983-1986

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September 10, 1983 — see The Complete Peanuts 1983-1986

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calebegg
1861 days ago
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Birth control comes with a weight limit

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The average American woman weighs 166 pounds. New data suggests that the Plan B morning-after pill is less effective if you weigh more that 165 pounds, and won't work at all for women who weigh more than 175. What's more, writes Kate Clancy (an anthropologist who studies women's reproductive issues), the dosages for regular old daily birth control are set for average-to-low-weight women. If your BMI is over 25, the pill won't work as well for you.
    






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calebegg
1861 days ago
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bluebec
1878 days ago
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joy
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